21 March 2008

gym socks

So it's Good Friday. My eating spree if over, thank God, and I'm ready to begin the ascent to normalcy once more. Why can't I ever remember how awful I feel when I decide to eat a scone, an apple fritter, and an oatmeal cookie, all within an hour- not to mention a big cup of coffee to wash it all down.

I think I'll make up some post it notes with little gentle reminders, saying things like "HORRIBLY, SMELLY & OFFENSIVE GAS", "THE BLOATING WILL MAKE YOU LOOK TWO MONTHS PREGNANT", "YOU'LL FEEL LIKE CRAP" and "DON'T DO IT!!!" Then, when I'm in the mood to 'graze', I'll whip out the post its, and place them in strategic locations: the cupboard door, the freezer door, or maybe I'll just hold them in my hands- in place of the snacks. That's it, I'll hold onto little snips of neon paper telling me how awful I'll feel if I replace the paper with snacks. Yeah, that'll work.

Any way, enough rambling...

It's quiet here at work today. We are closed for lunch because of Good Friday. One might think "horray for the chefs, they get a shift off," but no such luck. They're down in the kitchen now. Scrubbing, until everything shines like the top of the Chrysler building.

This morning I woke up around 8am. Got out of bed, took about six paces, then slumped onto another horizontal surface- the couch in my living room. Then, for about two hours I stared at my furniture. I even got mad at it. I have this thing, where I can only go about 2.5 weeks before I feel a need to rearrange the furniture.

Well, the need to rearrange happen to hit around 11pm last night. Ever so quietly, I put little gym socks under the feet of all my furniture, and did ice capades all over my living room floor. The last time I moved all the furniture around, my landlord appeared at my apartment door. His hair was disheveled and his face was all wrinkled and awry. "I was trying to take a nap," he said. "Next time, just put something under the furniture so it doesn't scratch the wood." Hence, the little gym socks.

Unfortunately, I didn't make much progress. My place looks like it's been ransacked. Stacks of books everywhere and the carpet, folded in four, sits like a giant hill in the middle of my living room. I'm too discouraged to know where to begin replacing things. And, the sad thing is, I think the furniture arrangement was actually best before I moved a thing. Oh well. at least I was able to burn off about 23 calories of the fritter in the dance of it all.

Sunday is Easter and I'm looking forward to the sunrise service that I'll be attending along the Schuylkill. A brunch will follow. Lets just hope I can once again live and practice some self control. Oh dear Father, not another cookie.


Beccalynn said...

Oh gosh! That was funny! I know how you feel about the urges though! BOY do I know! I've sworn off sugar again and after a week of having none, my system is pretty much flushed of the urge...though I do have a little sugar here and there, like in fruit, and my light yogurt, and a little in some light cranberry juice that went with the cornish hens I roasted for dinner tonight. Yum! Never had those before but found them in the grocery store for really cheap and they were so cute and tiny and I just HAD to have them, especially since I'd just read about a woman preparing them in the novel I'm currently reading. Anyway, even though I'm off sugar it doesn't mean I'm not eating other junk that I could do without. Like sugar free cookies which are delish even though not as good as the real thing....
It was nice reading a blog from you today! I miss you!

Jessica said...

You had me cracking up with this one, Laura. I need to try that post-it note thing......though I fear my desk and really everything I own would be covered in them. I eat all. the. time. My coworkers laugh every time they walk past my office because without fail, I'm noshing on something. As I sit here, I have two cereal bars, an apple, and an orange staring me in the face..........and great as that is, they aren't speaking to me nearly as loudly as the chocolate pudding cups I have stashed in my drawer.

And oh my goodness. Even as I was typing this comment, one of said coworkers came in my office to offer me some blueberry crumble bread.

I can't win. And this apple will probably still be sitting there tomorrow.