23 May 2008

louis vuitton

so yesterday was my birthday. i am now a whopping 28 years old. to celebrate, a few of my friends had me to a brunch at this local diner. this place just wasn't any diner though-it's called 'the classic diner'...and yes, the food, ambiance, service, all owns up to it's name- it was classy indeed. but i'll sure tell you one thing that wasn't so classy about the experience-but moreso brashy.

i joined my two girlfriends at our table, in a back room that, at the moment, was only shared with one other occupied table. at this other table sat an american man, probably 54 years old, and two younger late twenty something Indian girls. no more than 3 minutes into our greeting, the man from the other table turns to us and interrupts with, "excuse me ladies, but is any one else joining you today?" to his question, i thought he was going to ask to remove one of our 'extra' chairs or take a fork or something, but no, he goes on "well, can you do me a favor? can you use your 'inside' voices? do you know what that means? your inside voices???"

we all kinda just looked at one another in bewilderment.

ummmm.... umm.... okay, it's not like we had out party hats, were throwing confetti and all hurrahing one another. we had merely exchanged a normal greeting of hello and maybe two times, 'happy birthday' was uttered. bah humbug. it's not like we were a trio of teenagers, playing MASH, getting all worked up over who got the cuter guy to marry or who ended up with the lamborghini...

i'm nearly a grown woman- odd too think, but yes, at 28 i could have married and been with child multiple times! the other two with me were aged 33 and 20. so, i'm really not sure where this middle aged haggish looking man got off suggesting such as using our 'inside' voices. even if in his spare time he was a preschool teacher, his comment was out of line.

so, after his comment settled in, i turned to him and asked "are you serious?" he said "hell yeah." and at that, i threw back my chair, ripped off my baggy sweater (to expose my huge biceps) and charged at him. no less than 30 seconds later, i had his toupee on the floor, his cardigan shredded, and the ladies accompanying him, ran for the door. what can i say, scraping all those huge industrial bowls at the bakery have given me quite the muscular physique.

ha! yeah, right.

no, i did ask him if he was serious, at that he replied "yeah, well, you know, if your voices escalate, then we have to raise our voices, and then it kind of becomes this competing thing. so yeah, use your inside voices."

my two friends were just laughing at the suggestion of this and this haggish man, and so i excused myself from the table. no, i didn't charge the man. i went to the hostess girls and asked that we be relocated to a friendlier section of the diner. and they complied with my birthday wish.

a funny side note- the other innkeeper gave me these fabulous vintage louis vuitton (which i just learned how to spell today) loafers. i wear them because they fit and i like the style, not so much the name they bare... any way, on my way into the diner (before hag man) this lady was coming out with her older parents and she just gushed about my shoes. "oh my gosh, i lllooove your shoes! they're great!" i wanted to tell her i got them for free, but at that, she might have charged at me.

"you know you're on the mainline, when..."

3 comments:

Beccalynn said...

Happy Birthday, Laura! As usual, I remembered your birthday on Wednesday and made a mental note to myself to call you...and then forgot to do so. This is why my mom calls me the day before a sibling's birthday reminding me to call them. I'll send you a card but I'm kinda worried about doing that because I sent Nina and Lynette these AWESOME birthday cards that sand and all and according to Nina they never got them which makes me very sorry indeed as they were the best cards I ever bought. Lynette's sang the Newsboys song, "Shine" and Nina's sang Chris Tomlin's "Indescribable" ...in case you were wondering. No, I'll send one anyway but should it not come, know that I sent it and the mail ate it and don't think I didn't care. :-)

laura said...

and happy belated anniversary to you! like you, i thought about your 'day' the day before, of and after...but never sent my wishes! hope you and dave enjoy this beautiful sunny weekend!

David Stith said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! geez, I go away for a few days and up you grow, into your 28's, secured in adulthood. Still bothering the American dads though. .. sorry you had a weird birthday dinner, though you did get a great story out of it!